It’s amazing the way God plants seeds of our destiny in us that we don’t fully understand until years later.
When I was 16, I developed a random interest in Emily Dickinson, and I received a book of her poetry for my birthday. I was drawn to it and liked the feeling I had when I read some of her poems, but I never fully understood most of them.
When I did my senior seminar thesis on her in college, I gained a somewhat deeper understanding of the mystical dimension of her work, but I still found it mysterious and struggled to make sense of her words intellectually.
Now that I finally realize God created me to be a mystic and writer, I understand that He spoke to me through her poetry, calling to a deeper part of myself that was longing for the mystical consciousness she conveyed through her words.
Her work called to the depths of my soul and awakened part of God’s plan for my life. Even her lifestyle choice of solitude (that I didn’t understand *at all* as a teenager with a pretty active social life) called to my own deep need for space to contemplate, which has become increasingly important to me as I grow deeper in my spiritual connection.
Now that I’ve spent years following the Lord into prayerful contemplation as often as possible, I can more deeply understand the contrast between the soulful joy of authenticity and the superficial pleasure of praise that motivated Emily to write these famous words:
I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us — don’t tell!
They’d banish — you know!
How dreary to be somebody!
How public like a frog
To tell one’s name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!
Like Emily, I am SO grateful to be “nobody” and delighted when I meet others, who are kindred spirits in that regard. I express similar sentiments in this poem called “Embracing Ordinary”.
Now that I’ve been practicing contemplative prayer for many years, I have experienced the paradoxical mystical richness of solitude Emily describes in this poem:
There is another loneliness
That many die without,
Not want or friend occasions it,
Or circumstances or lot.
But nature sometimes, sometimes thought,
And whoso it befall
Is richer than could be divulged
By mortal numeral.
Like Emily, I have a sacred, achy, almost sad “loneliness” in my heart that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world because it’s mixed with a mystical almost magical love for and connection to the Holy Spirit that keeps drawing me deeper into God’s mysteries. I wrote this poem called “definition of faith” to express that exact paradoxical reality.
Lately I am truly amazed at how God is bringing me full circle into my calling as a writer, a mother, a mystic, a prayer warrior and a peacemaker. I hope my words can help draw others to the Light of Christ. Please pray for me to follow Him always and light the spiritual path for others!
Do you know what your calling is? What dreams has God planted in your heart? Comment below, and I’ll pray for you to persevere through the peaks and valleys of following God’s plan your life!