When you’re struggling to regain faith after a traumatic experience

All I can feel is the splintered edges
of the gaping hole in my heart
where the bomb went off,
but I’m looking out at radiant moon,
rich silky night littered with starshine,
framed by shifting tapestries of luminescence –
and I know there is a God.

Even here in this deep groove
carved out by the horrors that have torn me open,
I see the glory of You
inviting me into the mystery,
reminding me I am part
of an eternal firmament,
which is far more sound
than these buildings we are,
which can be destroyed.

Renovate my heart, Lord.
Remove the shrapnel and debris.
Widen the lens of my view
to encompass all that You are
in every moment,
here with me –
humming with peace
and the healing energy of true love –

Open me up
to the infinite reality of Light
that will always be
more powerful than this darkness,
which seems to prevail.

Melt away this division
around me
and in me –
Tear down these barricades I’ve built up
to guard my heart,
which block you out.

Have you ever played the card game hearts? If you are losing at the objective to have the lowest point value in your hand, you can secretly “shoot the moon” to try to collect the highest possible point value, which gives you a big win.

Life is like a game of hearts.

When your heart is ripped open by trials and tribulations, you can’t win in a worldly way of ease and comfort. Why not “shoot the moon” and embrace all the suffering in order to grow closer into spiritual union with God – the ultimate win.

I wrote this one after a prayer time, where I recognized that I was looking at life through the lens of my trauma and realized how much it was limiting my openness to God’s infinite grace. It’s amazing how our hearts and belief system can be shattered by things that happen to us. But by embracing that suffering and really coming to know it rather than living lives of escapism, we can “shoot the moon” so to speak and let down all of our defenses in order to experience the pulse of God’s living presence all around us.

In what ways have traumatic experiences shattered your heart and shrunk the lens by which you see and experience God? Comment below, and I’ll be delighted to keep you in my prayers.

Lord, give us the grace to see our suffering (individual and collective) as an opportunity to embrace your infinite love and mercy, which surrounds us at all times. Renovate our hearts. Expand our vision and experience of you. Heal us, that we may be instruments of your presence to those, who are struggling to believe. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen.

Written by Nicky Gant for http://www.uniteinprayer.org 5/30/2022

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