If you could glimpse into my soul,
you’d see a cavernous scar
chiseled by darkness
and filled
with rays of glorious Light.
You’d see my deepest wound stitched
with radiant threads,
golden and sealed with the grace
of Divine Mercy.
Who would I be without Your generosity, Lord?
Where would I be without the depths of Your love?
How would I find the strength to go on?
Unfortunately, there is such thing as a living grief. As too many of us know, the pain of watching a loved one suffer from mental illness and addiction can be an excruciating long-term problem.
As the disease progresses and behavior becomes increasingly toxic and even dangerous, setting healthy boundaries can be gut wrenching. We want to heal our loved one, but we are powerless. The person we care so deeply about is there, but at the same time gone – it’s complicated.
When I went through this with a beloved family member, my pain was so crippling that I struggled to put one foot in front of the other.
Though I had faith and a prayer life at that time, positive thinking and vision boarding didn’t put a dent in that level of agony. Seeing someone I love behave so darkly threatened to pull me into debilitating depression. With a small son to raise, I could not afford to go there.
During this time of darkness, God lit my way. I don’t remember exactly how I came across it, but somehow an angel must have led me to discover the Divine Mercy Chaplet and the Diary of Saint Faustina.
The Divine Mercy Chaplet is a prayer in the Catholic tradition, which was given to the mystic Saint Faustina by Jesus. It is a prayer, which leads us into the heart of the mystery of Christ’s merciful love for us, which was epitomized by His willingness to die for our sins.
The chaplet reminds us of God’s inexhaustible love of humanity, even for those of us who are lost in the darkness like my loved one was at that time. The chaplet is a reminder of the power of our simple trust in Jesus and an invitation to unite our sufferings to His on the cross, for the salvation of the souls.
During that time of my life, the chaplet revealed God’s light shining in the darkness of my grief over circumstances I couldn’t control and people I couldn’t heal. It helped me understand that while my love is powerless, God’s love is infinitely powerful and trustworthy – this helped me surrender and have peace and joy, in spite of the struggle I was going through.
In her diary, Saint Faustina wrote “When I see that the burden is beyond my strength, I do not consider or analyze it or probe into it, but I run like a child to the Heart of Jesus and say only one word to Him: “You can do all things.” And then I keep silent, because I know that Jesus Himself will intervene in the matter, and as for me, instead of tormenting myself, I use that time to love Him.” (1033, page 392)
I continue to aspire to this level of childlike trust in the Lord, under all circumstances.
Since learning the Divine Mercy Chaplet, I have prayed it countless times. Even more often in daily life, I have redirected my thoughts to Saint Faustina’s essential message “Jesus I trust in You.” This prayer always brings peace, comfort and healing to my soul and no doubt also on some level, to those, who I pray it for.
How have you experienced the mercy of Lord? Is there a lost soul in your life, who could use some extra prayers? Comment below, and I’ll be delighted to keep you in my prayers.
Lord thank you for Your merciful heart. Give us the grace of faith to truly trust in you, so we can bring Your love, mercy and healing to those, who need it most. In Jesus name, we pray.
Written by Nicky Gant on 3/9/2019 for http://www.uniteinprayer.org