Embracing the fullness of my messy, miraculous life

This is the road of authenticity –

one day rocky,

another smooth.

It’s easy to love the sand squishing between our toes,

the hot sun warming our souls …

storms –

are another story.

One way or another,

we need to learn to believe

in the Light

that never stops shining

behind clouds

the Light

that radiates always

deep inside.

This is the road we must travel –

guided by Truth,

one step out on Love at a time-

courageously marching

toward ever more gorgeous


letting go of everything else

along the way.

Be careful what you pray for.

When I was in my 20s and full of idealism, I hung this Jack Kornfield quote on my bulletin board:

“In the end
these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you learn to let go?”

It spoke to the core of my being.

As silly and free spirited as I was, in my soul I longed for a deeper life. I loved literature, spirituality and people. I prayed for wisdom and the grace to be of service.

Often in the depths of my heart, I sought God’s will over my own – handing over my soul freely, wanting to say Yes to Christ no matter what. Life gave me many wonderful opportunities to love deeply, and I was glad about that. But when life also gave me opportunities to let go of things I didn’t think I could live fully without, I was consistently shocked – wondering if I’d done something wrong to deserve such trials.

I’ve grown a lot in my understanding of the spiritual journey since then and have thankfully learned to trust the process more, through good times and bad.

As I round the bend into my forties, I’m grateful to still be silly and free spirited at my core and even more grateful to realize that the trials we face are opportunities to grow in depth and freedom from attachment to the superficial things in life.  When we live our lives in surrender to the Spirit of God, we won’t always be comfortable, but we will always be on the right track to infinitely more beautiful outcomes in the long run.

In countless ways, I’ve experienced how Christ can transform our earthly losses into spiritual gains that are priceless. I’ve learned that if we cling to our faith through the storms of life, we can be gifted with an inner sense of God’s presence that can never be taken from us. I’ve experienced the truth of Romans 8:28 “All things work for the good of those, who love God and are called according to His purposes.”

Though on the outside, my life doesn’t look exactly the way I would have planned it – on the inside I have strength and peace beyond what I could have dreamed of, along with a strong sense of God’s loving presence with me always.

The older I get, the more I want to love deeply, live fully and let go gracefully.  I am open to where God’s plan for my life takes me, fully expecting it to lead toward infinitely greater joy and freedom like it has so far.  

How are you doing in the process of embracing your messy life? How well are you loving? How fully are you living? How deeply have you learned to let go? 

God help us to embrace the fullness of Your love. When we’re faced with trials in life, remind us to keep the faith and act out of love in the face of it all. 

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